The wedding’s off.
I’m sorry – truly I am. But after years of dedication, Hunter and I will not be getting married. It all started when I read Hunter Hayes: 25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me. Let me just stop right here to say: I sure can pick ‘em. This boy. . . . This boy could sing Christmas songs year-round and I wouldn’t get annoyed. You with me? We’re talking a keeper, okay?
The 20th thing I didn’t know about him changed everything. Just everything.
Apparently Hunter keeps his apartment set at 68 degrees. 68 degrees. Day in. Day out. Sun or snow.
Not even aggressive cuddling could stave off frostbite from my bare feet. So it is with a heavy heart that I inform you not even Hunter Hayes makes my list.
And that, friend, would be disparaging news if I had a list.
That’s not to say I never had one. I was once your average youth group groupie. (It’s not exactly something I’m proud of.) My list ran for pages. But after taking one too many “who’s-your-daddy?” quizzes, I discovered Prince Charming is bipolar.
Bipolar and locked in his own ivory looney bin. Which is exactly 68 freezin’ degrees.
Here’s the problem: I feel like I deserve a hero.
I do, and I have unreaLISTic expectations. I am selfish – it happens. When I scratched out my list, the question in my mind was How can my future husband meet my needs? Dear person reading, I give you Exhibit A.
My needs? More like my thirteen-year-old-terrible-taste wants.
Marriage is not about self-fulfillment. It’s about waiting at Walgreen’s for his prescription; hanging up the phone with that girlfriend I haven’t talked to in forever to hear about his bad day; not saying anything when his socks don’t make it into the laundry basket.
Exhibit B. Susan May Warren has this book. In it, the host for a love talk radio show encourages all her listeners to hold out for that “perfect 10.” Settle for anything less than a seven and. . . well, you’d be better off a spinster.
Of course, there’s a certain boy next door. The story is very You’ve Got Mail meets Sleepless in Seattle. He becomes a regular caller, but he has flaws and this past that you wouldn’t believe. I mean, he’s not exactly a top scorer.
But he’s still a hero. You know? Still worthy of the heroine’s love. He makes her realize that 10 out of 10 is not the only perfect. With love, there are perfect fives and sixes.
Then again and quite ironically, in The Accidental Husband, another radio personality finds love on the air. She wrote the book on R.E.A.L. love, but Mr. Not-So-Right will prove she’s got it all wrong.
Forget her checklist. Forget her compatibility quiz. Not all the compatibility in the world can stand up against commitment, against sacrifice.
When I finally realized that (doy!), I scrapped my guy grocery list.
I made one for myself.
I created a list of the wife my future husband deserves.
And I’m trying to be her. I am. But, dear person reading, she’s like the Proverbs 31 woman incarnate with sass.
I’ve got the sass down. As far as the rest goes, I’m praying through it and biting my tongue.
It’s not a bad place to start. At least it’s not 68 degrees.
Do you have a husband wish list? If you created a list for yourself, what qualities would you include?