According to Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, all she wants is a nice place to call home, a good man, and lots of chocolate. Her situation selling flowers on the streets leaves plenty of time to dream, but leaves much to be desired.
She’s… she’s not all she could be. I wouldn’t call her broken, just not quite put together.
Not long after she finishes singing about all she wants, a man enters her life.
Henry Higgins takes her in. He teaches her how to speak correctly and instructs her in the ways of a lady. Then for her real test, he dresses the dime to the nines and shows her off at a royal ball.
There, she passes as a princess and becomes a lady.
Wouldn’t it would be lovely if you could influence your heroine in such a way she’d become a Hepburn?
Make her feel wanted. Open the passenger side door. Tell her she’s beautiful. Hold her hand. Give her your jacket on a chilly night. Put her first and take the lead.
Acknowledge her feelings
Women are sensitive. Because of the way God wired a women’s brain, they can pick up on tones, emotional responses, and facial expressions. If your girl has a bad vibe, then she probably has a good reason.
Call it women’s intuition or whatever you like. Just take care not to discredit her gut feelings.
Your logic is the balance in the relationship. Not the override.
Offer your strength
Congratulations, warrior. You da man. You are the stronger sex.
And she is really going to need your strength. It’ll come up in two parts. Part 1: Since you’re the man, all butt-whooping falls to you.
I’m not kidding. Once a study abroad, a friend fell for a native boy. Right before she met him, his amigo unwelcomingly felt her up. Second base. You know what her native boyfriend did when she told him? Nothing. It wasn’t a big deal in his culture. He wasn’t even mad. Didn’t even threaten to slug Amigo and defend her honor.
Her not feeling protected was a big factor in their breakup.
Your girl may not actually want you to take action, but it will warm her heart if you offer. And actually mean it.
Part II: Be her shoulder to cry on and bear hug.
In Chicago PD, Officer Kim Burgess has a particularly rough shift. She’s kept busy rescuing herself and her partner. When she doesn’t show for a lunch date, her boyfriend worries. He tracks her down and relieves her of the rescuing bit.
She’s been strong all day long. But when she finally breaks down in the locker room, Ruzek is there to hold her.
Bottom line: pro-tect your woman. And if she’s one of those feminist, do it anyway. It’s in the Bible.
Encourage her passions
Dear person reading, women think they can multitask. They are fairly good at the multi, but when it comes down to the tasking, things can get misplaced. You’ll find those things are most likely her passions.
Work will demand more of her time. There might be children. Or sickness.
Take interest in her interest. Don’t let her forget what she loves while she’s busy making sure everyone else is loved and cared for.
Fireproof has really emphasized this. So, to make it quick: women are complicated. There are no instructions. Take notes if you have to. But if she’s you’re favorite subject, you ought to be getting an A.
Pray for her
Prayer is hot, guys.
You get to hold hands and thank God for the incredible woman in your life. If you’re not quite sure what to pray for her, try confidence and peace.
Show her off
What a lucky guy you are to have such a lady in your life. Be sure you’re enthusiastic about introducing her to your family and friends. Treat her to a night out and appreciate the way she gets all dolled up.
Just you wait, Henry Higgins. With you at her side and a little encouragement in her ear, she’ll become the lady you know her to be.