How to be Friends with a Couple When You’re Single

It’s a rare thing to hangout with a couple and not feel like a third wheel. But it can be done and done well.

Here’s is what I’ve learned from my friendship with Katelyn and Sam Bolds.

Understand the dynamics

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Early morning Snapchat from the Bolds

A couple is already best buds.

You are the new kid.

And as the new kid, it’s important to get a feel for how they operate as a couple. Some couples eat, sleep, and breathe together. Others prefer having separate hobbies and interests outside of the relationship.

Neither is wrong, but it’s certainly easier to befriend couples who aren’t glued at the hip.

Be patient as you learn who they are and what they’re all about.

It takes time to make one friend. You’re making two!

Pay attention to seating

Basically, we separate Katelyn and Sam. If we’re all in for a car ride, I drive or take shotgun. We make this a priority so I won’t take a backseat to the conversation by being in the backseat.

It took a couple rounds of musical chairs to get this right. But our chats have been much more inclusive since.

Split a meal/ticket

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About once a week, Katelyn suggests the three of us have dinner.

And to that I say, “What can I bring?”

Sometimes it’s as simple as dessert or fresh juice. Other times I’ll take care of the meat, and they’ll handle the sides. Honestly though, it doesn’t matter what’s on the menu so long as both parties are contributing.

This way, the couple won’t get frustrated with a hungry single eating into their grocery budget. And by stepping up to the plate, a single has a say in what’s on that plate. Also, she is now entitled to leftovers. Such a bonus!

Respect their schedule

Sometimes one or both of them can’t hang. I never blame this on Katelyn and Sam being married. I never blame. If they have plans, they have plans. End of story.

But sometimes. . . Sometimes they have no plans and invite me to stay the weekend in their real house with an AC that isn’t bipolar (emphasis on the polar) and all the trimmings of a home. Then we go and do things like explore the Farmer’s Market, watch a movie we all want to see, and relax at the pool. *grins*

Confession time: It took awhile to get over the assumption that they were indefinitely busy being together. But now I don’t automatically count them out just because of their relationship.

We do a lot of fun things, and we do a lot of those fun things last-minute.

“Ship” them like FedEx

Admiring my couple friends couldn’t be easier. Truly.

I can’t help but aww when Sam sends Katie flowers then message him a picture or two of the her he-loves-me-he-loves-me-lots smile. #relationshipgoals

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Watching them is good for my heart. It gives me hopeful feels and makes me excited to add a fourth to our little group. . . That is, eventually. In the distant future.

Speaking of, being friends with a couple can actually help your love life! Read How to Hang Out with a Couple When You’re Single for the whole lowdown.

Are you friends with a couple? Share your tips!

. . .

Tweet: No more third wheeling. Read how to be friends with a couple when you’re single.

Stay tuned for Katie’s perspective of being friends with a single when you’re a couple. Until then, keep up with her and Sam at The Bold Life.

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My name is Nichole—Nichole Parks. Not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks. Nicky boy handles the drama. And me? I take on the trauma. Dark humor is my specialty.

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