Shoutout to all my #SingleLadies!
Even though I’m hitched doesn’t mean I’m going to ditch my bestie. Many couples lose track of their single friends, but they are missing out!
All my best friends are single and it keeps me young. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to be friends with a single when you’re a couple.
Know Who’s RSVP-ing
Know when you’re invited and know when you’re both invited.
There’s nothing more damaging to a single than when you just assume she meant to give you a plus-one to your girl’s night. Don’t bring your man along to shop for bathing suits at the mall. Don’t assume he’s invited to your catching-up lunch.
Clarify with your friend. Or just assume when she invites you, she means you. Just you.
Girls Need Girl-Time
No need to give up on sleepovers or girl’s night out! It can be tempting to do everything with your main squeeze, but a balanced relationship with time for each of you to have your own friendships is healthy!
Let’s face it—your man will be thankful you have a friend to drag to the latest chick-flick.
Don’t point out the singleness
The worst thing you can do to a single is make them feel single. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you’re the expert on life. Being single is not a defining characteristic of a person.
Don’t set your friend up on dates without her permission or assume that every man she dates next is “the one.” If she wants to be in a relationship, encourage healthy thinking and activities that introduce her to good guys. If she wants to be single, celebrate that too!
Support your friend. Don’t add to the pressure.
Coach a Relationship
Figure out what your best friend and man share in common. They are both human, I expect, and they both like you so they probably are similar in some way.
By helping them build their own relationship, there will be less strain on you to always be providing topics of conversation.
If you want to hang out the three of you, choose activities that put all of you at ease.
About once a month, Nichole, Sam (my husband) and I go to Costco. We share a cart and bond over free samples. What’s better than that?
Keep PDA on the DL
Last, but certainly not least, save the PDA for later.
There are times that are okay to show affection to your spouse, but while hanging out with friends in public–shut it down. No nuzzling, nosing, kissing, canoodling, or anything that makes your single friend uncomfortable.
There are moments that are appropriate to hold hands, but don’t do it while walking or across a table. . . It will automatically make your single friend a third wheel.
Every relationship is different, but in the end, judge your actions by keeping in mind everyone’s feelings. If you still need more help, check out How to Avoid Being a Jerk to Your Single Friends Just Because You’re Married.
And if you’re single, read Nichole’s perspective in How to be Friends with a Couple When You’re Single.
Katelyn S. Bolds works as Web Editor at Gilead Publishing a high-five distance away from her bestie Nichole. She is married to coffee; also her husband, Sam. Her DIY life is a little crazy, but she takes it one day at a time, writing about yoga, health, and relationships on her blog, The Bold Life. Connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.