The Best Comebacks to the Worst Online Dating Come-ons Part II

Lower your expectations.

What you’re about to see— These aren’t pick-up lines. . . They’re hook-up lines.

Typically, I just go ahead and report. But with this being my last online dating post and all, I thought I’d retort and see what happened.

*All messages are brought to you by OkStupid. . . I mean, OkCupid. . . No I don’t.

The Player

Let me just escort you to the door!

Mr. Clean

No Saint Nick

The Applicant

*cringes* Why would you ever write this ever?

Mr. Show and Tell

I still hold that there are good guys left in the world. I just seriously doubt they’re on the World Wide Web. So I will no longer be wasting my time or sarcasm there any longer.

Don’t fret though! You’re welcome to reminiscence with past dating humor post such as Part I of The Best Comebacks to the Worst Online Dating Come-ons. Or my personal favorite: That Time I asked Online Creepers if They Were Serial Killers And Their Responses Were Dead On.

Also, Buzzfeed has a winner in their article 11 Text That Will Make You Say “Me Trying to Date.”

Before you go, tell me: What was your favorite comeback?

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My name is Nichole—Nichole Parks. Not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks. Nicky boy handles the drama. And me? I take on the trauma. Dark humor is my specialty.

One thought on “The Best Comebacks to the Worst Online Dating Come-ons Part II

  1. I love the “position has been filled”…although given the character of the applicant, you’re significantly lucky he did not offer a response to any “position” being “filled”… 😉

    Like

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