Thoughts from a Kiss Virgin

I couldn’t feel my lower lip.

The orthodontist assured me numbness was normal. Give it a week, a month. . . or years. My nerves would regenerate.

Until then, I had plenty to deal with. Because when you’re twenty, in the middle of a major crush, and never been kissed, let me tell you: nervous is all you feel. What if it affected. . . Err. . . my abilities? Would my lower lip ever truly get in on all of that action?


I mean, could practice ever make perfect for me?

For motivation, I stocked up on romantic comedies and TV dramas. During the make-out scenes I’d poke my lip like get it together so you can feel all that. After three months, my nerves finally got the picture.

By that time, I was still a kiss virgin and yet also an expert. That status complicated things for my work-in-progress romance novel. Exactly how was I going to I authentically describe a sensation I’ve never experienced?

I’ve found there’s nothing like faking it till you make it. Or in my case, make-out.

However, it soon became clear I needed life experience. Even if it wasn’t my own.

Because I’d been walking around not knowing one can kiss and breathe at the same time. In fact, it’s encouraged. Apparently, this is a known thing. Breathing. Kissing. . . . Kissing. Breathing. Honestly, I’m still trying to get over it because book after romance book told me kissing was breathless.

As in not breathing.

Which, I don’t know about you, but just the idea of multitasking like kiss/breathe/kiss seems odd. There’s also the fact that your eyes are closed, or they should be. And you’re not supposed to bump noses.

Anyway, I asked my college roommate to confirm. She was girlfriend. She knew these things.

“Hazel?” I said. “Can you kiss and breathe at the same time?”

“I mean. . . .” She paused with a should-I-burst-your-innocence? face. “You can if you’re doin’ it right.”

Finally. An explanation for all the suctioning noises in make out scenes.

All of that research and I still didn’t understand tongue. So I developed my own opinion.

One day it’ll happen for me. Probably my first kiss won’t be anything worth mentioning, but I’m sure I’ll gush about it anyway. I’m sure my opinions will change. I’m sure won’t always see a tongue as a mouth slug. *shudders*

For now though? For now I’m a kiss virgin, and these are my thoughts.

I know you’re not supposed to kiss and tell, but would you mind? Share your kiss story in the comment section. I could use all the help I can get.


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My name is Nichole—Nichole Parks. Not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks. Nicky boy handles the drama. And me? I take on the trauma. Dark humor is my specialty.

7 thoughts on “Thoughts from a Kiss Virgin

  1. I love this post, I’ve recently had a similar experience. My first kiss was “stolen” so to speak in the club and I was so confused as to whether I should engage or pull away so it ended up being a combination of both! After it I literally spend weeks on Google looking for other similar experiences and making sure I was prepared for next time only no one gave me enough detail about tongue and breathing and to be honest it was so cringey doing so that I eventually gave up! And not long after it was time for kissing again and we’ll, I just went with it, I followed his lead and eventually you pick up a way to do it. As for the breathing, well I think you do it simultaneously, it’s not something you need to think about conciously while kissing it’s natural and as I don’t recall any sensations of my lungs begging for air, I assume it must be simultaneous. Good luck with the book!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww! Thanks so much for the story. No matter when it happens or whoever it happens with, I’m sure my first kiss will be special. . . Special awkward. 😉 But as long as I keep breathing and laughing at myself, I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it eventually.


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