How to have a Mother-Daughter Relationship Better Than Lorelai and Rory Gilmore

Will they ever get back together?

Watching yet another Rory Gilmore breakup tore me up inside. It wasn’t grieving over Dean. Or hoping for Jess. Or even cheering on Logan.

It was Lorelai.

The fight was big, sure. I got that. What I didn’t get-still don’t-is how Rory went weeks and months without talking to her mom. It hurts my heart.


Photo Credit: Warner Bros.

I mean, Mom and I tiff about once a week. The problem is: I mind my own sweet adulting business. . . and so does she. She calls it “being a mom.”  (Cough. Cough. Unsolicited advice. Cough.) It’s not fun. It’s not nice.

We don’t like it.

So we’ve taken steps to protect ourselves from a full-on Gilmore mother-daughter breakup.


One phone call Mom prefaced her parental guidance with “I am going to tell you something, and you’re probably not going to like it.”

Are you sure you want to tell me? Yes. Are you positive? Yes. Mom, is that your final answer?

She told me. I didn’t like it, but I forgave her.

Still do because she wants what’s best for me. And since I want what’s best for us, some topics are now off limits. We can talk about anything; we just can’t talk about everything.

When Mom does cross a boundary, that’s when I. . .

Hang up.

Oy with the poodles already! Disconnecting in the mid-fight has saved us from hurt feeling numerous times.


Photo Credit: Warner Bros.

Typically there’s a long silent frustration over the line. Then I say, “I’m going to hang up and call right back.”

And I do. The pause allows us to regroup and restart. If we’re face-to-face, taking a breather or praying works wonders.

Learn from each other.

Think about it. Most of the Gilmore girls’ controversy stemmed from Rory repeating her mother’s mistakes.

Seriously. Imagine if Rory had tried to learn for Lorelai’s experience. Or if Lorelai had just once listened to her daughter’s council. . .

When the going was good, their mother-daughter relationship was better than coffee. But their bad times were unspeakable.

That’s not what I want for me. And that’s not what I want for you.

What’s say we learn from each other right now? How do you protect your mother-daughter relationship?

Read What Gilmore Girls Taught Us About Mother-Daughter Relationship for more lessons. Or as if you needed one, Elite Daily pieced together 26 Reasons You Should Call Your Mom Every Day. Alternatively, your welcome to hang out here longer. Maybe you’d be interested in taking a look at Songs For Every Mother-Daughter Duo. You’d make your mom’s day by sending her one.


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My name is Nichole—Nichole Parks. Not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks. Nicky boy handles the drama. And me? I take on the trauma. Dark humor is my specialty.

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